Still Puzzled...

Good news and bad news... first the good news:

- I heard MercyMe's "I Can Only Imagine" [dirty uncut mix] on two radio stations in my area. That means the name "Jesus" is being brought to radio alongside such timeless favorites as "Bentley," "ho" and "Cris" [as in, "pop tha Cris"]. Praise the Lamb! I about ran off the road when the piano intro struck. I also heard the song played on a satellite station while waiting for The Matrix:Reloaded sneak showing in Indy Wednesday nite. Whoa! [said in Joey-from-Blossom voice.] But yes, the song airs UNcut, meaning His Name is being said on pop stations all across this nation. I mean, Fort Wayne, South Bend and Warsaw are always last to get singles new to radio, so it must be well received across the country.

As for the bad news, which I now realize is so totally usurped by the good news there...

- I have a cavity, albeit a small, easily repairable one... but a cavity nonetheless. My dentist even gave me the digitalized photo of it from his gadgetry in the office to hang on the fridge at home. What spite. So now this, coming from a man who brushes his teeth at least thrice daily and for about 20 minutes at each event [yes, they are events]. I've always acclaimed myself for never having a cavity. Well, Shaniqua don't live here no mo'. Actually, it was an uppercut to my pride in my whites, and disheartening, but...

praise God: I'm about $800 away from my goal of $2300 for summer project in Traverse City, Michigan, beginning June 14. I see the light at the end of this tunnel and, well, just wanted to finish by recording some good news there.

From within the walls of fifth grade...

"Dear Mellisa,

I do not know why you hang up on my sisster. But I know for shore you are not hange up on me. Why did you she didn't do eney thing to you. you shouldent get mad at me or her you should get mad at your self because we didn't hang up on you. yeh, you started it. I got to go, Tyler Mccall is bothering me.

Lorraine

PS. don't you ever do that again. I'm warning you

Best Friends forever not."


The first note I confiscated in my substitute teaching career: Priceless.

A lot has happened in the last three days. I just feel like logging it all chronologically for observation's sake, and because this weekend was great. I already feel how random this is going to be.

I subbed in an elementary school classroom for the first time Friday. As much as I enjoy subbing/"teaching," and as hilarious as kids can be as I've previously journaled, they can also be a bona fide pain in the backside. I think something became obvious to me: I don't "do elementary." But alas, I have a 5th-grade class at the same school lined up for Monday. I really need to see this job as a blessing.

The experience Friday in no way precipitated this line of thought: I don't plan on having kids anytime soon [no problem there] and don't particular know that I want to have kids, period. I was talking to a friend about this, and we actually both agreed. I don't think it's selfish to say, but I don't want to be tied down. Obviously, I have a lot of growing to do, but I dunno that I'll ever have kids. They definitely make one settle down more, pick an at least semi-permanent place to come to rest. I want to invest in any Jons and Jonnas to whom I would give life. I am committed to never move around even as much as I have and thereby cause my offspring to feel like quasi-Army brats. If I can't provide such an environment because of career or travel or both or whatever, then I don't want to procreate. That said, I do love kids. I definitely want my brothers to marry and have children because I want to play with them, teach them, learn from them. However, at the end of the day, I don't know that I want to take them home. Time will tell, and this is early-on to be considering all this... but is it? I know it's not really a source of worry right now, but man, just thinking about the prospect makes me feel old. Cue Stevie Nicks' "Landslide."

Friday nite, I went to Columbus [a three-hour tour, no less] to see a Bebo Norman show. Man, that guy is great. I do wish he'd played more and talked less, but he had interesting things to say. He just seems real. I appreciate that honesty in my singer/songwriters, most of whom, by the defining nature of the "singer/songwriter" tag, are just that: real and honest. I went to see Bebo, yeah, but I went more to meet up with a really good friend and saw some more friends in the process. That was tight. I miss my friends from school like whoa.

After the show [and Pizza King] in C-bus, I went to Plainfield to visit SB, who was on her way to Virginia the next morning [Saturday]. She's since arrived there and is a bit disconcerted by the lack of college-age natives on the Shenandoah scene. Something tells me she'll do well there though. After that entertaining, engaging three-hour conversation with Ms. Sarah Brown, I took off for home at 4am Saturday morning.

But I didn't quite go home. One other person knows this, and probably everyone will think I've lost my mind, but I took a little road trip Saturday morning. I didn't go anywhere in particular, just... drove. I toed it over to Lafayette from the Plainfield/Indy area then trailed back home. I was nearly lost at one point. I nearly fell asleep about ten times, I think. That part's not so cool, but I got home at 7:30 am Saturday. I don't know why I did that, as it surely cost a lot of cash in gas, but I did it. I didn't have any profound thoughts ["epiphs"] during the trip either, but I enjoyed the ride thoroughly. I saw the sun rise on what is the admittedly flat northern Indiana landscape, but it was a serene, somewhat beautiful view all the same.

Saturday saw my former prom date getting married at her homely Warsaw church. Quite a few friends and members of the class of 2000 were on hand, and it was a great time, weird in a good way. I was able to reconnect with a couple great friends I'd lost track of in the last year or so. Funny how people have and are moving along with their lives. Yet, as much as we'd all like to portray some image of "change," everyone is actually -- from graduation up until now -- the same person he or she has always been. Everyone has changed obviously, but it's always a not-too-different caricature of the same person. Same personality, same mannerisms, same general look, same what-have-you. It took me back. The nostalgia was thick like buttah.

After the wedding, I met up again with Billy [he also attended the nuptials] in Muncie and we headed to Indy for the Ben Folds show in the street. It was downtown in the artisan-populated Murat area. Man, that section is such a well-kept secret of the city. A lot of artsy little shops and cozy indoor/outdoor restaurants line the main jog. The storefronts and wide avenue remind me of a Main Street USA type of atmosphere, albeit one void of any Disney-esque, manufactured feel. It was fun to just walk up and down it. I love places like that, and I love the city. Oh yeah, Ben Folds was good too. I think his voice is underrated, and I like it. The piano playing was highly entertaining, spirited at times. He did well to incorporate crowd participation into the performance. Replete with gaudy, red, oversized specs invoking Elton, he played his version of "Tiny Dancer" as part of an encore. Thus, my night was complete.

Today [Sunday] is Mother's Day. I abso-freakin'-lutely love my mom. Mary, Queen of Scotts is the greatest. She's done so much for me even in the last week. She helped me secure subbing gigs, wrapped a wedding present as I was running late, and directed me from a pay phone to the wedding because I'd forgotten where the church was located in my very hometown. She is amazing and never ceases. She's tireless. My mom is funny too, and quirky. Indicative of her quirky nature, she is now, on HER day, on a date to see the X-Men sequel at the local cinema. Now what would a 48-year-old mother of three boys rather do on her day than run off to the movies with her college sweetheart and see a slice-and-dice superhero saga?

I love her.