Still Puzzled...

I met and had some really good conversation with a guy tonite at a Greek cookout [not Greek grub, but Greek students]. For simplicity's sake, I'll call him Sam. Because that is his name. Sam's a fraternity man -- much like myself, or depending on whose literally year-old jokes one is listening to this week, much like I was. Anyway, Sam was in my honors class last fall. Short story shorter, we didn't really talk much at all -- he's even more laidback and much quieter than I am. We engaged in swapping those cordal "hey's" time and again in passing after class. We both knew the other was greek on-campus from observing the letters emblazoned weekly on each other's chests. Alpha Tau Omega, mine read proudly. I'll let him tell you his.

Getting to the point, Sam came to this cookout last night with a mutual friend of ours, and I was surprised to see him. We struck up a convo as if it'd never left off [let alone ever previously started] and come to find out, he can be quite outgoing [all the while maintaining the laidbackness]. Sam has taken yet another history class this semester from the verbose, witty, self-proclaimed brilliant prof we had last fall. He's going to study in Australia this coming fall. What struck me is how it took someone else to serve as a middlewoman, at least in bringing Sam to the cookout, to get me to initiate a conversation with the guy. I'd thought he was cool in class, the incredibly easy-going, quiet type who, when he'd actually speak, would say subtly hilarious things. His was the kind of joke that some others might get five minutes later, when they realize Sam had made a funny. His was the brand of humor I crave to be around.

In an entire semester's time, I had not had conversations with this guy Sam like I had last night at the cookout. The ratio of hours spent "class:cookout" probably resides at about 40:3 and is ridiculous. It shows me how passive I am. To myself, I could really relate to the guy when he spoke in class about his family [it was a "Historic Family Structures" class] and yet I never offered more than a "hey" really. Yes, don't we all have those "'hey' guys" [or gals] in our lives. Sam was one of mine. Was.

Truthfully, I think we could be great friends. Maybe it was because we really don't know each other yet and were engaging in some high-quality banter mostly, but it was cool. He'll come back to Middletown USA a freshly Aussie-ized junior in spring 2004, and I'll be preparing to graduate most likely. I quite possibly won't see the guy again, but man, he was rad. Last night's cookout experience taught me to do more to use every opportunity to get to know someone, or to at least talk to him/her when it'd seem practical to do so [similar tastes, experiences, senses of humor, etc.]. Passivity is to be rejected. There's something understated to be said for living on purpose. I don't do it nearly enough. I need to take my dad's advice and "Make like Nike -- just do it."

I have a new acquaintance-friend in Sam, and it happened over the course of about three hours last night. Especially at this time of year [finals/graduation], it's funny to think how some people come into and travel out of your life. Even over the course of one night.

And for some strange reason, tonite seems like years ago.

I think this lyric more or less sums up my year:


On My Bones // Kendall Payne

What this world has brought me
What this world has taught me
Senseless spinning
Never tie instead of winning
Ice cream for licking
The clock's always ticking
No one is free
Someone must have a key
Oh this world has been hard on my bones
All this time
I'd been seeking my own
Oh this road has been hard on my bones

What this love has brought me
What this love has taught me
Patience in battle
Who's in the saddle?
Joy and despair
That I really do care
Uncertain desire
The risk going higher
Yeah this love has been hard on my bones

What this God has brought me
What this God has taught me
Passion and grace
How to stand in one space
Laughing at lilies
What truly fulfills me
Death on a cross
It was I that was lost
Oh this God has been life to these bones

Yes, this God has been life to my bones