Still Puzzled...

Nothing so overwhelmingly profound to say right now. I just need some therapy, some solace... this will be a tangential run-on. I am just gassed from another night of procrastination coupled with perfectionism. The combo of the two is a surefire recipe for stress, and my conclusion is that maybe, juuust maybe I like the stress. I am a restless person. My attention is not easily maintained. I am easily distracted. For crying out loud, last nite I found myself - at a time I should have been poring through a case study/course paper for media ethics - instead opting to read a column about Snoop Dogg on the Indiana Daily Student's Web site [yes, I know that the BSU Daily Noose considers the IDS to be the devil's right arm... honestly, my 3am epiphany was that their columnists are just plain funnier and more provocative].

I was challenged by the following column in particular: http://www.idsnews.com/story.php?id=16277

I don't even know what I think of this column or the subject at large. Contrary to most columns today though, it caused me to think. No small feat for a piece of print media to achieve on my one-track mind, of which "the train of thought is a runaway."

Less than two weeks of class and finals are left. I will be a senior. A good friend and roommate of mine will graduate. I will live at home for a whole month for perhaps the last time in my life. I will go on a project this summer to a not-so-distant land [Traverse City, Mich.] and have experiences I cannot even aspire to now. At the same time, there's no real reason why those experiences - with others, with myself, with God - cannot begin today. Busyness is no excuse, yet has been a main reason I have been in a bit of a mood and feeling of detachment the last three weeks or so, esp. the last week. I don't have time - or better yet, make the time to read the books I want to, to spend the time alone, to journal [goodness, I am a writer]. This makes me irritable. This quote struck me all too close to home:

"Running in high gear keeps us from being contemplative. It keeps us from our thoughts and feelings - and even people - we dread. Being busy gives us the license to skip out early or be absent altogether. But the greatest sin of busyness is how it disrupts our capacity to live on purpose."
-Dr. Les Parrott, Ph.D.

One last reference about making the most of time and this peculiar entry is over [why are you still reading?]. It comes from a great band called The Elms:

so raise the glass and look right past the time you've thrown away
the tragedies and enemies, the debts you'll never pay
understand it's in your hands to turn the other way
and make tomorrow the first day.